For many of us, the holidays, which are fast approaching, are a stressful time. Holiday stress manifests itself in a multitude of symptoms due to a variety of causes.
Here is a tip that can help you celebrate the coming days in full holiday cheer: behind any one of your energy draining stressors, lies one or more needs that aren’t being met. If you can identify the need or needs not being met, you can then do something about it. If you choose to.
Needs over time
The list of your needs is long and extends from physical needs (enough food, water, air to breathe, exercise etc.) to emotional, mental and spiritual needs. A need for calm, a need to be seen or heard, a need for connection, respect, humor, compassion, or …
The needs which are important to us, developed over time. Your experiences, beliefs, thoughts, attitudes, fears, values all contributed to how you react when a need isn’t being met. Not all family get-togethers are occasions of joy, peace and harmony. Holiday music can be very misleading.
Awareness is key
It’s an interesting concept – that just identifying an unmet need can help you turn around the energy depletion that occurs in its absence. It takes the significance out of the situation to know what is behind your reaction. Of course, every personal development change in life starts with awareness, so why should this be any different? Well, it’s not.
Develop an awareness first, to which needs are important to you. To help you do this, here is a Needs List which you can find at this link.
Your homework should you choose to accept it
Choose the 10 top needs for yourself from this list (if they’re plentiful in your life, don’t choose food, water, air etc.). Then from this top ten, whittle it down to a top five. Then from this top five, choose the one need that is MOST important to you. You now have a workable list.
Take the items on the top ten list and make a copy of it. Carry it with you. Over the coming weeks, whenever you’re triggered by an energy draining emotion, take this list out. As soon as you’re aware of the energy draining emotion, ask yourself what need isn’t being met. Look first to the most important need in your life. Is this the reason for your im/ex-plosion? If not, look further down on your list. In all likelihood, the why behind your reaction will be on this list, because it’s absent in your life.
What you need now
A final piece of advice. In order to stimulate awareness in how you’re feeling, it may help you to ask ‘what do I need now?’. Call upon your inner wisdom in the situation. Once you know what you need – ask for it. Don’t demand it and don’t expect the other person to know why you feel the way you do. Ask for the need to be met in a non-judgmental, non-accusing manner. What I need right now is ——-.
Start practicing now. You will have a wonderful resource at your fingertips to help you find enjoyment amid all the hustle and bustle. Happy Holidays!